THE INBOXXX: "The Purest One" - Conceptz
Humpasaur "Hump" Jones: Welcome to our 2015 Season Kickoff Edition of THE INBOXXX. With me as always is DJ Multiple Sex Partners, currently on summer vacation here in beautiful Vermontistan.
DJ Multiple Sex Partners: No offense, but it's kinda depressing you're still doing this.
HJ: Word, word. So we've got this cat named Conceptz who's submitted a video, and this is going to be painful.
DJ MSP: That's an atrocious rap name. Like calling yourself Wordz. Letterz. Ideaz. Flowz.
HJ: This was absolutely a mistake, I'm sorry.
DJ MSP: We're establishing that this guy spends a healthy portion of his paychecks on adult-sized superhero merchandise.
HJ: Mostly from DC.
DJ MSP: Fuck you for even knowing that. I'm especially disturbed by this obviously beautiful woman with the amateur makeup job and bad lighting. How do you screw up having a beautiful woman on your set?
HJ: I can't advise you on the specifics, but it clearly involves comic books. They keep flashing these shots of attractive women with a panicked, unsafe look in their eyes. You have to wonder what was really going on during this video shoot.
DJ MSP: Do you think his arms would shatter if he fell over?
HJ: I wouldn't want to watch it happen either way. I feel obligated to say this guy is a fucking terrible rapper. Just, nothing there. If this motherfucker even leases a Lamborghini, he could afford more than one light for his big video shoot.
DJ MSP: I can see why you always get pissed when rappers talk about being rich, this apartment is a shithole.
HJ: I'll probably vote for Trump, though.
DJ MSP: All of his friends look and dance exactly like him. I'm guessing those dudes are all related to him, and that poor woman they keep throwing in front of the camera is his older sister doing him a big, big favor. This is all mediocre 90's rap. This is beyond parody. You remember Party Fun Action Committee?
HJ: Fuck, good point. This is someone sitting down writing a mean-spirited joke song about the nerd rap scene as consumer cult.
DJ MSP: That's not really what I was...
HJ: No, I like it, we're gonna end there. Fuck you.