"Prom Quiz" - Greyskul

Much like Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin" -- and for similar tonal reasons, too -- this track right here has stuck with me for life. Like so many other powerful psychedelic drugs, hip hop is all about set and setting, and surely the long-lost context for my first exposure to "Prom Quiz" has a lot to do with why it would still be in my head, a billion decades later.

"The dumb were mostly intrigued by the drum," as a Shaolin sage once observed, and it is important for you to understand that I am among the dumb. Here at Real Yeti Rap, we all are. Those cats who listen to "pop rap" trash and love smart ignorant lyrics? That's us. We keep having to remind the whole Real Hip Hop Jihad, we're not on your side. You may feel that your opinions matter, or count somehow, but we know better. We just like what we like.

And I'm still baffled as to why I like this one. It's true. I don't get myself and, thank fuck, I don't have to. These verses are terrible, wall to wall. I still bump it all the time.

#CLASSIC: "Refuse to Lose" - Non-Phixion

Back in simpler days, I took a Greyhound bus initiation from Portland, Oregon to Montpelier, Vermont. That shit takes a long time. I had a minidisc player and a handful of mixes burned by friends with better taste than myself. I would reckon that, during the course of my seven day journey across the continent, I spent at least eight hours with this track on repeat. A full work shift, right there.

This was in the jagged, panic-melodrama aftermath of September 11th, 2001. There was no other topic of conversation on the bus ride at any point, mostly just craven speculation about Where They Would Hit Us Next. Hence the headphones: I was trying to escape some sad, herd fuckery and get to Vermont without giving up on life itself. This song helped.

We covered Non Phixion here before, and verily, we will again. (Their legacy is still making money in 2014, so it's not like I'm carrying some obscure torch here.) They were royal blood anointed, from MC Serch to DJ Premier, classic album to solo careers. It didn't last as long as Slayer but there's something pure about that, yeah?

LXXXI - THE SHEWING-FORTH OF SIMPLICITY.

1. True speech is not elegant; elaborate speech is not truth. Those who know do not argue; the argumentative are without knowledge. Those who have assimilated are not learned; those who are gross with learning have not assimilated.

2. The Wise Man doth not hoard. The more he giveth, the more he hath; the more he watereth, the more is he watered himself.

3. The Tao of Heaven is like an Arrow, yet it woundeth not; and the Wise Man, in all his Works, maketh no contention.

Doug Benson, You Lucky Motherfucker

Well played, daug.

#CLASSIC: "Fitta Happier" - Quakers

Quakers was "a real deal masterpiece," and that's a great damn quote, because I wrote it back in 2012. A 41 track album with over 30 rappers involved? Monu-fucking-mental, mate. Portishead's Geoff Barrow worked with Aussie beatsmith Katalyst for years to hone 2012's best rap album.

I come back to this track a lot -- Guilty Simpson and MED is chemistry that always works, and this was the closest thing to a radio single on the whole project.

"No One Can Do It Better" - The D.O.C.

Title track off a classic album, and definitely some of the jazziest shit we'll ever hear out of Dr. Dre.

The D.O.C. has always been a horror story to me: right as this album was blowing up and he was becoming a national name, his life took a Twilight Zone twist when he got into a car accident that injured his vocal chords. When I first found out about that in high school, it inspired me to write and record more so I wouldn't leave behind undocumented material. (The results were worthless, but what matters is I was inspired, you cynical assholes.)

Still, if you've never heard of The D.O.C. don't waltz off thinking his life was nothing but suffering...he did have a kid with Erykah Badu, after all. Raise a glass to the man either way. Contemplate a West Coast where this cat was going platinum every year from 1989-1996.

"The actual name “Death Row” came from me. I actually wanted to call the label “Def Row,” ‘cause in my mind Dre was what Russell Simmons was to the east …. That’s how important he was. And then one of the other artists, a female named Jewell, she was like, “Wow, that’s cool, Death Row.” I was like, “Nah, Def Row.” And Dre was like, “Nah, nigga, Death Row ….” And then with all these thug-minded-ass muthafuckas around…it didn’t take long before that’s just what that was." - via HipHopDX

#CLASSIC: "The Look" - s. maharba

"In the hold of such events there is little to be said..."



A transmission from another world.

Everything s. maharba has done to date is exceptional, but this is a personal favorite. Beyond dusty, way past melancholy, this is a distilled fist to the heart.

#CLASSIC: "Make it Plain" - Divine Styler

Fundamentally, I have never understood most of what Divine Styler is styling divinely about, but that's not a problem for me. I've always thought of this particular cut as his Crossover Hit -- too catchy for college crackers to deny, despite the fact it's a Five Percent PSA, front to back.

I love rappers who wander wherever they want to go, and when I first got into Divine Styler, my writing was straight from the Gift of Gab / Eminem template of metronome multisyllables. It took me years to appreciate the elegant simplicity of a GZA and I admire the Aikido pockets of modern writers like Has-Lo and Elucid and Ka, all minimalists with flawless taste.

Now, this next cut was my jam during early High School Rap Awakening stages. This is a world apart from that bubblegum funk we started with...



For a 17 year old with a face full of LSD, you can see how the disjointed hypno-flow could connect with that DJ Shadow dark shit and do some real damage to a young brain. Divine Styler was like a West Coast Sir Menelik to my idiot ears, captivating and totally impenetrable.

#CLASSIC: "Rock Stars" - Non Phixion

Saying this "brings me back" is a pathetic understatement. This is a flat-out LSD flashback.



Fact: Non Phixion never blew up because they made a conscious decision not to. Look at the the trajectories of everyone involved after they splintered into solo careers -- they expanded on the blueprint but never strayed too far, either. This was the rare group where every style involved meshed perfectly.

So you blow up off that -- do you take it to Will Smith heights or party as hard as you can for as long as you can? I'm not casting aspersions or rendering judgement, just explaining my own intended approach toward anything even resembling "fame." In related news, DJ Premier made this beat.

#CLASSIC: "Masters of Illusion" - Kool Keith & Motion Man

This is one of the few rap albums I still bump, end to end. Motion Man needs to keep on making records, for the good of the species.

#CLASSIC: "The Last Huzzah (Remix)" - Mr. Muthafuckin eXquire ft. Everyone

Photography against a white background: did you know Amazon patented that this year? God damn right. Remains to be seen whether they will pursue litigation over this NYC production. They clearly had a blast filming this, fun is contagious. (Unlike money.)

Music videos: the only thing clothing companies are good for anymore.

#CLASSIC: "Broken Language" - Smoothe da Hustler ft. Trigger tha Gambler

Aside from the dress code in the video, this really hasn't aged a single f'ing day.

#CLASSIC: "Terror Works" - Sir Menelik

One of the first rap songs to truly blow my mind. The drugs helped, sure, but this still stands as a highwater mark for NYC lyrical wildstyle 90's shit.

"Straight Flowin on Em" - Motion Man & Kutmasta Kurt

#CLASSIC: "Juicin' Dranks" - Blu & Exile ft. Taarach

Effortless funk mastery. This is a gem, daug.

#CLASSIC: Turf Fienz

We don't post a lot of b-boy content here but holy shit, this was impressive. Oakland has some serious flavor.

Alaskan Fishermen - "Fire and Ice"

One of the best rap albums of all time. Easy. Over the course of the next month, we will probably post every single track, but definitely go and hunt it down anyway.

Here's a review from 2003 -- probably the only review to get written. Spoiler: "...this is a lyrically rich gem that will have you rewinding all over the place."

UPDATE: Turns out there's a sequel on the way. Got a preview and that shit is facemelter status. Those Jeremy Page productions are huger than ever: completely insane. No word on when the album will drop but there are at least finished tracks that exceed expectations. Big thanks to Godforbid.

Oneiric Field Mandala - Dr. Quandary

Raw, dark, psychedelic boom bap that draws from African deserts and Indian cities in equal measure. I fucking loved this track.



Dr. Quandary is, of course, a founder of World Around Records and an instrumental artist with serious bona fides for 2012. If you're digging this, his debut album is highly recommended: Beyond All Spheres of Force and Matter.

FRESH: Turntablism and LSD

"We take acid, drink OJ, and eat Subway sandwiches. And then scratch at two hundred beats per minute. Non-stop for eighteen hours. Subways, two hundred bpms, and acid. That's it."



From How to Wreck a Nice Beach: The Vocoder from WWII to Hip Hop by the extremely awesome Dave Tompkins:

DXT has made a living from this susurration. "That's why I'm here, I guess," he says with a weary smile. "I was the first to scratch that sound." DJ Disk, who trained on "Change the Beat," calls fresh the perfect freak accident. "We take acid, drink OJ, and eat Subway sandwiches. And then scratch at two hundred beats per minute. Non-stop for eighteen hours. Subways, two hundred bpms, and acid. That's it."



"When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light... and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns." - Mitch Hedberg

Best Hip Hop Video of 2011 | Wiley - "Numbers in Action"

Brilliance. Taking familiar ideas further. Playful and powerful. Runner up: "The Last Huzzah" remix.

#CLASSIC: Alaskan Fishermen - Oh God!

Way too many quotables. Godforbid's solo track off the fucking classic Fire & Ice. FLOWS.

"women want me for the beautiful kids
stick around, put food in the fridge
take your tools and fix junior's bed
his room is a mess...I ain't doing that shit
must be some guy that you're confusing me with..."

"when I get cuts, scientists are lining up to buy the blood
but you better have Budweiser trucks, or drive a bus
of girls gymnastics, in them classes that teach 'em how to bend backwards
...that kinda stuff"

What is Godforbid doing now? If you didn't already know about That Handsome Devil, that's pretty stupidface, I won't lie. They're Wikipedia type big. One of my favorite cuts off their last album: