G-Eazy - "Calm Down"

Few artists today embody the cheap emotional high of big-money arena rap like G-Eazy. That's because few artists today are as cynical or meticulous Gerald Earl has been. "I made it here dolo, nobody to help me." That's an obvious lie, but who cares? It feels good to say it. It articulates what all Americans want to believe; the magic of self-affirmation.

Opening salvo:
I been sitting on the charts like a beach chair
my last album spent fifty-two weeks there
almost finished with the second, you should be scared
storms coming, you should go inside and pre-pare

That kind of lazy first draft rap is all you're ever going to get from G-Eazy. His cocky demeanor stopped being a pose years ago - the kid keeps winning and he's never had to really try. A lot of folks attribute that to white supremacy, or how attractive his whole twink/submissive look is to gay men and straight women.

I don't think either interpretation is really fair.

G-Eazy's real talent lies somewhere between his voracious appetite for attention and his calm capacity for outright artistic theft. He was destined to be famous, and like all such specimens, he is charming & insufferable. His face visibly loves the camera more than the camera loves him, but his art direction is pure Knowles/Carter: his plagiarism is both brazen and exceptionally well-done.

Gerald Earl has always had an ear for good product. People know what they like because people like what they know - that's why he simply hired the team behind Iggy Azalea's "Fancy" to make him the same beat. G-Eazy is a talented producer in his own right, but behind the scenes work barely interests him. He outsources most of his own albums because he's a smart capitalist.

The G-Eazy we see before us today has been sponging up inspiration on cross-country tours for years now - the Aubrey Graham of the continental United States. He is the product everyone wants to be, because he himself is the calculated synthesis of all the other popular products.

And, you know, fuck it, right on. It's not like he's out here killing people or making indie rock. It is like he's out here setting the white race back a full fifty years, but Eminem shares the blame and besides, white people aren't even real.

Ticket sales definitely are, though. G-Eazy understands that The Roots were too lyrical. He knows that few college age Americans are buying tickets to be amazed, or even impressed: they want to be validated. That means every bar of every song has to be understood by every single seat in the house. He's not making music for "the culture" - he's making music for the gym. The culture is just another tool to get him more famous than he was the year before.

It will work, though. It always does. Because we're fucking stupid, and because we deserve hollow sociopaths like G-Eazy. Long may he reign.