DISPATCHES: Dizzy Wright & Demrick - Got It Good

Dear whichever of you is speaking first:

Damn, you do got it good. The second I saw that sexy tatted lady paying attention to you, I was instantly jealous. I may have forgot she was a paid (hopefully) actress for a moment, but none the less, I had high hopes for your video; the bass line is super funky, the drums snap and could be a lot worse.

Then, of course, you opened your lie-hole; the usual catalytic event that makes me fly to the edge of my desktop monitor to close out the screen.

Let me explain:

We know you’re aggravated but if the loud doesn't mellow you out, and you're already in an unfavorable situation, why further escalate it by smoking? Am I misinterpreting the chronological order of events? The banging lady with the tats appears aggravated too! But I bet I know, judging from your lyrics, why she hates you so much: you’re too fucking stupid to do or say anything interesting or funny, and getting high probably makes you even dumber. On a positive note, I do like how your flow switches, how you pitter-patter around an original style; but your ornate and, at times, inventive delivery gives us absolutely nothing but a brain dead, popcorn verse about weed and silly, ungrateful hoes to whom you reluctantly give your hard won stacks.

Really though, you should be so lucky to have someone's so smoking hot bullshit to put up with, because if you spit that verse to me I'd pretend like I didn't hear it and then leave the area as soon as possible like I do with kids performing impromptu rap shows at bus stops and train stations. Oh, and is that the money you've acquired pursuant to a drug hustle? Sure it is. Such an integral and interesting aspect of your character should undoubtedly be promoted on the internet where local and federal officials have ready access to evidence showing other forms of your income. I’d say nobody cares because it's all play pretend rap fantasy, but some cops are really fucking stupid and they actually might! But over here at RYR or even the people in the video though? Nah; not even that model … and she's getting paid to act!

In regards to the second guy who raps:

I accidentally sat through one of his sets a month ago because he opened for someone I was there to see. His verses seemed inspired by the Greek god of sleep himself, Hypnos, dropping forgettable, incessant allusions to, surprise, weed and something else I think, maybe, but really, I can't be sure. I've listened to his verse four or five times now and I've earnestly tried to pay attention but keep getting distracted by anything and everything else available to my conscious attention. I would yawn after snorting a bump​ of Walter White's perfect crystal meth formula if Demrick came on right afterwards. If you said I had the choice between getting my urethra swabbed for STDs or sitting through another Kendrick set, I'd have to think about it and can’t at this moment say exactly what choice I would make.

If I didn't know how the game went, I might actually be upset that this video has a few hundred thousand views. But I've seen The Way and know that there is nothing for me there in that fight.

Sometimes it may seem like I hate rap. This, of course, is not true. I've seen the true potential of it exacted from the toil of tireless chaps who have intelligence, heart and vision; and each piece I write I hope is more or less steeped in the underlying eternal truth that the doors to Valhalla are wide open to all, and any may enter at any time.