Keeping it Real on "Hyperbolic Chamber Music"

This is neither groundbreaking nor acceptable. It is, on the other hand, a good way to get people talking. That's about Mishka's brand, though...or at least, it's definitely got nothing to do with 25 forgettable rappers and 1 Isaiah Toothtaker. There's nothing wrong with the beat, courtesy of Ryan "Extended Remix" Hemsworth: it's a warm synth bath that frankly outshines most of the dudes here.



Just kidding. This song is fucking legendary. You will still be listening to this in 50 years and it will be the most meaningful soundtrack your life could possibly have. All of these young poets will go on to staggering success, critical acclaim and thousands of groupie pregnancies on every continent. This is the future of everything: marketing, music, even sex itself. Everywhere you go this summer, you will hear this song playing...and you will only say: "TURN IT UP."

This is a joke, right? It has to be. This song comes with a press release that actually, literally, seriously contained the following sentence: "A beastly rendition of what happens when rappers can only keep it real." Nobody writes something like that with a straight face...do they?

Fuck it, though, I'm already over it. It's been hours since that shit dropped and there's a couple thousand new mixtapes out since then. I got a facefull of coffee and blunts and I have very important opinions to tweet about, I can't be living in the past yo. Submit all tracks to YoHumpJones@gmail.com